My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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