I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I want is dick and wine.
You don't make any sense
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