In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
