They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
