is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
