I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
