the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
