I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
