Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
