Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
