therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
