did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Randomize
