so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Less talking, more tequila
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
