I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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