woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
