My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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