Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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