all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
