my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
