Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
