What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
