he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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