Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
