its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
