I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
