HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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