I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
