just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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