Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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