hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
