i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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