he puts the penis in happiness.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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