On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
