lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
