Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
