so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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