What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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