She's JV to your varsity
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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