Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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