dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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