weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
