Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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