clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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