Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you win again, gameday.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
