Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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