my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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