I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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