when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
