whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
