He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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