Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
