the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
