i need an iv and a liver transplant
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
