Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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