So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
